Helping LOCAL Full-time Missionaries in your Area While You Have A Missionary in the Field - 5 great ideas!

I am a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the only member of the Church on my side of the family. Interestingly, I recently found out that for decades my mother has been approaching LDS Missionaries (whenever she happens to see them around town or in the grocery store) and talking to them. I was a little shocked when I heard this - I really had no idea that she would do such a thing and she had never mentioned it at all until recently. She said that whenever she sees missionaries, she always tells them that her daughter and family are members of the Church and that I served a mission. More recently, she has also started adding that her oldest granddaughter (my daughter) is preparing to serve a mission soon.

She then told me (to my astonishment) that she always tells the missionaries that she knows that they are far from family and home, so she wants to make sure they have everything that they need and then asks if there is anything she can do to help them. I think she noticed that I was surprised that she had been doing this all these years. She told me that she is only doing what she would want someone else to do for me or her granddaughter. She said she hoped that if she offered to help local missionaries in their time of need, someone else would do the same for us.

When I finally recovered from my initial shock that my mom was telling me this, I asked her if any of the missionaries have ever said that they need something. She replied that they never have, but that they always seem appreciative of the offer and are polite, so she will keep asking. Now, I should mentioned that my mother works in a grocery store, so she sees missionaries shopping there frequently (since there are quite few sets of missionaries in the area). I can't even imagine how many times these conversations must have happened over the past 25 years. I had no clue. Isn't my mom a cool person?

If you have a missionary that you care about currently serving far away, whether it's a relative or friend, you probably think about them a lot and maybe even worry about how they are and what they are doing (or eating/not eating). I made sure that my mom understood that missionaries bring what they need, have apartments provided, have a food allowance and have dinner appointments with people in the area where they serve - plus, they can always contact the Mission President if there is some sort of need or problem. "I know," she said, "but I just want to offer help if I can. There might be something they need. It doesn't hurt to ask."

This blog post is titled, "Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You(r Missionary)." When your special missionary is in the Czech Republic or Peru or Ireland, you might not be able to do much to help them out on a day to day basis, because you aren't physically there. You can pray, you can write letters/emails, you can send packages (when practical), but you can't be THERE. But there is something you can do - you can help the local missionaries who are serving where you live! And I get the feeling that my mom is right - if we serve others, maybe others will step up and serve our loved ones when we aren't physically there to do so.

So what can we do to help the local missionaries where we live? I've got 5 ideas for you - REFERRALS, DINNER APPOINTMENTS, SAY HELLO, HONK & WAVE, AND BONUS GROCERIES

#1- REFERRALS - Hands down, this is the thing that missionaries need most. No matter what mission they are serving in, this is what they want and need. Introduce them to your friends and neighbors. Invite your friends to meet with them. Help the missionaries find people to teach. I've read many letters home from missionaries who have said, "please give referrals to the local missionaries." Why would they say that? They know what missionaries everywhere need people to teach so that they can do what they were called to do. You probably can't help your missionary find people to teach in Australia or India or Brazil when you live in Oklahoma (unless you have relatives there or something!). But if you live in Oklahoma, you can help the Oklahoma missionaries find people to teach in Oklahoma! If you want people in Zimbabwe to give your missionary referrals in Zimbabwe, then give your local missionaries referrals! (Do unto others...)

#2- SIGN UP FOR DINNER APPOINTMENTS - As we talk about in our Mission-prep blog posts "Food and Dinner Appointments - a Guide for LDS Missionaries" and "2 REALLY important Things to Start Doing Now if you Want to SURVIVE EATING as an LDS Missionary" it is expected that ward/branch members help to provide at least some of the dinner meals to their local missionaries, whenever possible. This helps to cut down on the missionary expenses. In some areas, missionaries have a dinner appointment every day. In other areas, they may have few or none. Find out about signing up to provide dinner for the local missionaries in your ward/branch and help out if you can. It's very much appreciated.

#3- SAY HELLO WHEN YOU SEE MISSIONARIES - I always say hello when I see missionaries anywhere (even if I don't know them). This might seem a little strange, but when I was a missionary I remember that SO MANY people were rude, unkind, or angry when they saw us...so if we saw someone that we knew or if anyone was randomly nice to us, it made a difference to me. So say hello. If there is opportunity to talk, introduce yourself. Often when I see a pair of missionaries that I don't know, I say hello and they have a hint of panic in their expressions as they try to figure out who I am. They seem to wonder if they should know me from their current ward, or if I am a previous investigator or something, etc. So, I try to say right away, "I'm Sister Rogers from _________ ward" or something like that and that puts them at ease.

#4- HONK AND WAVE - Again, this might seem a little strange, but when I see missionaries walking down the street or waiting to cross at an intersection, I honk and wave. The reason I do this is the same as what I mentioned above in #3- When a pair of missionaries walk or bike down the road, they are very recognizable to most people who see them. And that often draws negative attention and people sometimes yell rude things or scream profanities at missionaries as they drive by. After a while, a missionary might start to feel like the entire world must hate them. I know I felt like that sometimes. When I was a missionary, if someone we knew (or didn't know) drove by and honked, waved, and/or smiled, it would literally make my day so much better.

#5- BONUS GROCERIES - If appropriate and reasonable for you to do, you might also consider donating a few extra groceries to supplement what the missionaries have to eat in their apartment. As a missionary, I always ate (though sometimes if I didn't plan well, I didn't eat well), but regardless of how much food I already had, I was always happy if someone gave us a bag of groceries because we were on a very limited budget. If you are going to buy a few things to give to your local missionaries, I would recommend giving things that are easy to prepare (or require zero prep) and that do not require additional ingredients. For example, if you give a missionary boxes of "hamburger helper" mix, I'm sure that they will appreciate it, but they might not have the other ingredients (like ground beef, milk, and butter) available.

Recently my daughter has been working with some great full-time missionary Elders in the area who have been teaching several of her single adult friends. She sees the missionary dinner calendar and knows that YSA Elders don't get as many dinner appointments as other missionaries in the area might. We've had them over for dinner in our home. But she felt recently that maybe there was something else we could do. Partly because she is thankful to them for teaching her friends, but also
partly because she has reason to suspect that they might be eating a lot of ramen noodles these days.

She asked me if we could get them a bag of "bonus" food as a special treat. We talked about what kinds of foods would be best. We decided that things cold cereal, granola bars, and spaghetti-o's would be a good idea. So we picked up those items (and a few other things) at the store and texted the missionaries that "Our family has a few bags of things for you. Stop by whenever you are in the neighborhood to pick them up" (they have a car). I should stress that this wasn't a major expense and we don't do this regularly, but we carefully thought about what might be convenient and easy for them, but it ended up being 1 bag each (doubles of everything) and only cost about $20.00.

I took a photo of what we got so that you could get an idea of the type of thing that we bought:

Cereal

Applesauce

Granola bars

Salsa

Tortilla chips

Spaghetti-os 

Microwave popcorn 

As you can see, there is nothing major, nothing that requires any special steps or other ingredients (except maybe milk for the cereal).

I hope this post has given you some ideas on how you can help the local missionaries. And I hope that you and your missionary (wherever they are serving) will be blessed by your thoughtfulness and service.

Monthly CARE PACKAGE IDEAS for LDS Missionaries - plus bonus ideas for birthdays & hump day!

This blog post is featuring a collection of care package ideas for every month of the year (plus a few bonus ideas for birthdays and "hump day"). We have at least one idea for every month (plus birthdays and "hump day"), with links to the original source if you want more information. But first, lets talk about some of the practical matters re: sending care packages...

TIMING-
You'll want to take into consideration that it's going to take a while for your package to get to your missionary (especially if they are in a different country), so you will want to look into delivery estimate times and try to plan ahead. For example, if you are in the United States and your missionary is also in the United States, you can send a package through USPS using "Priority Mail" and it should arrive in 2 to 3 business days (there are other -cheaper- shipping methods, but they do take much longer). If you have a specific day that you need the package to arrive by (such as a birthday or Christmas), then I would plan ahead to have the package arrive at least several days early. It's better to be on the safe side, since there can be delays (especially around Christmas).

If you are shipping to a foreign country, it will take much longer for a package to arrive. The USPS website's "Postage Price Calculator" can give you an idea of the cost for a package and an estimate for how long it will take a package/letter to arrive (enter your zip code and the destination country). Again, this is an estimate, because the delivery time can vary a lot, especially in remote areas. So shipping early is key.

RESTRICTIONS-
If you are shipping to a foreign country, I recommend finding a message board or facebook group where parents with LDS missionaries in the same country as your missionary share tips because you will be able to find ideas and information about shipping to that particular country. When you ship anything to a foreign country, there can be a lot of restrictions about what can be sent (both because of policy and because of practicality). For example, a particular country might not allow certain types of food to be sent. Another county might allow food, but it isn't a good idea to send certain types of foods (like chocolate that can melt).

If you try to ship restricted or illegal items (like fireworks), they would be confiscated and could potentially cause problems for yourself and/or for your missionary, so be sure to get the facts about what is allowed and not allowed. The USPS has information about shipping to foreign countries, and they also have all of the customs forms that you will need to send packages overseas. The last time I sent a package to an overseas missionary was several years ago, but unless it has changed recently, you actually have to go to the post office to mail foreign packages (you can't usually just click & ship from home).

OTHER IMPORTANT SHIPPING ISSUES-
Other common issues related to sending packages to foreign countries include theft and additional costs to your missionary. Theft is a significant problem in some countries where customs agents will open and inspect your package, confiscate restricted items, and may decide to keep things that they want for themselves. Even if your missionary is serving in the United States and the package won't go through customs, packages can be stolen from doorsteps. So if you try to send anything of value such as money, a camera, or even shoes, they might never make it to your missionary. I've heard that in some countries, if you need to send shoes to your missionary, it's best to sent the shoes in seperate packages on different days (because one shoe is not very appealing to a theif). Of course, there is always the chance that one of the packages could be lost forever and you missionary might be walking around with only one shoe! :)

Please be aware that customs agents can and will open packages and inspect everything inside. So if you have wrapped items (like a twelve-days-of-Christmas gifts kind of thing), they may open all of the gifts to see what they are.

COSTS-
It costs a lot of money to send a package anywhere, even within the same country. The farther away, the higher the cost. Also, a heavier package costs more (an exception to this is if you are able to do a flat-rate box through USPS, which allows you to pay the same price no matter how heavy the box is, but there are restrictions and you must use a specific box (that you can get for free from USPS).  So you definitely need to factor the cost of shipping plus the cost of the items inside to determine the actual total cost of sending a care package to your missionary.

What many people don't realize is that additional costs to the missionaries can happen when they are required to pay customs fees when picking up a package in their country. Depending on the contents of the package, they may be required to pay high fees (basically custom taxes), and that money comes out of the missionary's support fund (food allowance). Imagine if they had to pay $100 to pick up a package that cost you $50 to send them? That would be devastating to their budget.

For all of these reasons, you will definately want to learn everything you can about what is allowed (or will result in fees) and what you shouldn't send to your missionaries particular country.

Alright, now that I've totally stressed you out, lets get on to the care package ideas! You may need to adapt to your situation and you definately don't need to send a package every single month (especially if your missioary is in a foreign counrty where the cost is much higher).

Here is at least one idea for each month of the year, followed by a few extra ideas:

JANUARY- "NEW YEAR, NEW START" CARE PACKAGE

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

This is a cute idea for a low-cost care package containing practical items like toothpaste, mints, etc.

FEBRUARY- "VALENTINES DAY CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE 

Check dollar stores for inexpensive holiday-related items and decorations

MARCH- "ST PATRICK'S DAY CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE 

Green-themed care package for St Patricks Day - basically, just anything that is green (note- I'd be careful about putting soap like the IRish Spring shown in a box with food. Even though it is wrapped, it is strong smelling and -trust me - all of the food items like gum and mints will taste like soap. I know this because this has happened in my 72-hour kit. If you really want to include the soap, I would double-wrap the whole package of soap it in thick zip-lock bags like freezer bags).

APRIL- ''EASTER CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE 

Several ideas for Easter. You could include any Easter-ish items, but its nice to have a gospel theme if you can, as in the 2nd Easter care package shown above. 

MAY- "MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

This is a May-themed care package with the popular May 4th "MAY the Fourth be with you" Star Wars theme. Here, they include snacks with the labels changed to make them Star Wars related.

JUNE- "BOX OF SUNSHINE CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

This sunshine-themed care package would be good for anytime in the summer, but it could also be sent in the winter as a sort of cheer-up. PS- Some countries have the opposite seasons than in the United States, so if your missionary is serving in Australia, for example, it might be winter there when it is summer here.

JULY- "4TH OF JULY CARE PACKAGE"

LINK FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

I'm pretty sure that fireworks are illegal to send anywhere, even within the United States, so this care package is fireowrk themed, but shouldnt contain any actual fireworks - it's just firework themed. Fun items like pop-rocks candy would be a good idea. Be sure to check whether it is appropriate to send nation-related items like American flags, etc., before you send, in case they might be prohibited.

AUGUST- "BEAT THE HEAT CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

"Cool" or "ice" themed items

SEPTEMBER- "FALL CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

Fall themed items like nuts and other snacks with fall-themed flavors

OCTOBER- "HALLOWEEN CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

NOVEMBER- "THANKSGIVING CARE PACKAGE"

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

This is a really cute idea for a thanksgiving dinner in a box. Is your missionary in the United States and probably going to eat Thanksgiving dinner with a family in their area? Don't worry - they will still want this food! You can't have too much Thanksgiving!

DECEMBER "CHRISTMAS CARE PACKAGE"

Here are 3 different ideas for things to send to your missionary for Christmas. A common theme for a lot of Christmas care packages are things that can be enjoyed over time - either small gift or envelopes that are opened over time (days or weeks). Don't feel like you need to send regular Christmas presents (like you would normally give them back home). In fact, it's better not to. They don't have room for extra items in their luggage, so unless they specifically tell you that they need new shoes or a new dress, I would recommend sticking to small practical & consumable stuff like post-it notes, chapstick, socks, ties, snacks, makeup, etc.

Here is a garland with envelopes that are opened like an advent calendar:

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE 

Here is a paper Christmas tree and "ornaments" featuring photos of family and friends back home. This is a great idea because it can be put up weeks before Christmas and kept up on display for a while after Christmas, so it has a lasting impact (while also being low cost). The missionary can eventually throw away the paper tree, but keep the photos with him in the next transfer.

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE 

Stocking filled with inexpensive gifts like candy, etc (for most people, a stocking would be in additional to the main gifts, but for a missionary this is a very appropriate gift by itself)

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

Please try to remember your missionary's companion when sending a care package, but ESPECIALLY at Christmas. It doesn't need to be something major, anything small will be appreciated. Some missionaries don't get much mail or any packages from home. Some missionaries don't get any sort of support from home, so it can be really meaningful to get something from someone who cares - even if they don't know you.

HUMP DAY CARE PACKAGE:

"Hump Day" is the halfway mark for Missionaries - for Elders that is the 1-year mark (halfway through their 2 year mission) and for Sisters that is their 9-year mark (halfway through their 18 month mission). It's just kind of a fun thing to recognize that they are halfway through. Here are some fun "hump day" care package ideas:

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE 

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE 

BIRTHDAY CARE PACKAGES: 

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE 

LINK TO MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS IDEA HERE

HAVE FUN PUTTING TOGETHER YOUR CARE PACKAGES! YOUR MISSIONARY WILL LOVE THEM!

Preparing for your LDS Missionary's next CALL HOME - a guide for parents of LDS missionaries

WHO'S READY FOR MOTHERS DAY (OR CHRISTMAS DAY?)??????
Depending on what month of the year you're reading this, you're *relatively* close to one or the other! And that means it's almost time for your bi-annual phone call (or Skype) with your LDS missionary!

Since I’m new to being a missionary mom, I have not experienced my first phone call (or Skype) as the mom back at home yet. During my own mission, I was on the missionary side of phone calls home, of course, but I can’t help but think that it will be a very different experience as the parent.

I've recently read a wonderful blog called “The Mission of Missionary Moms” by Nancy Murphy who is the mother of many returned missionaries and a former Mission President’s wife. Which makes her WAY more of an expert at Missionary-Momming that I am!

One of the issues that Nancy addresses is the lasting effects that the bi-annual phone call (or Skype) can have (on the missionary himself/herself). In a blog post titled “Those All Important Phone Calls Home,” Nancy describes how some missionaries would become very depressed and unable to work for sometimes a week or more because of their phone call home. I have to admit, this issue had never occurred to me - I don’t remember any of my companions becoming depressed, homesick, or overly worried about issues back home after their Mothers Day or Christmas Day phone calls. I don’t know what was said during those particular missionarys’ phone calls home, but I’m fairly sure that the relatives on the other end of those calls didn’t mean to make life harder for their missionary. Perhaps the things their family said focused only on the negative or on their own misery at missing their son/daughter?

What might those parents have done differently? What can we do to make sure that our phone call/Skype is uplifting and encouraging for our missionary?

Nancy says, “We, as mothers, have the ability to make THE phone call a great experience for our missionaries and make sure it has a positive impact on their missions.”

Here are some tips - some of which I’ve taken from Nancy’s blog post because I plan to use them myself during my first missionary phone call/Skype as the mom back home:

#1- Make the focus of the phone call about THEM

Nancy says, “Make the phone call about them. Be interested in what they are doing. The best way to show them you are interested is to ask questions: How many people are you teaching right now? Have you been to a baptism lately? What is the coolest thing you've seen in your area? When is your next Zone Conference? Tell me about the members you've met. Make the conversation revolve around him and his mission--it will make him feel like you are a part of what he is doing, that you care about people he is teaching and what he does on his P-day. Be interested in the little things of life he is experiencing” 

You don’t have to refuse to talk about the family and whats going on at home (and of course answer those questions your missionary has if they come up), but don’t feel like you have to dominate the conversation with your own stuff. Try to make the majority of the call about them. Of course if you have special news to share, go for it! But you can always tell them about regular ol' home stuff in your next email…you don’t get many chances to ask your missionary questions about their experiences and hear their answers right away in person, so use your chance when you get it!


#2- Don’t cry (a lot)

“Do not cry on the phone. OK well, just a little is OK. But remember, this is not about you or how sad you are. It might be good for him to know you miss him so much it makes you cry a little. But if you sob and sob about him being gone, he is not going to feel good. He is going to feel guilty for being gone because it is making his mother cry. If you can't control your tears (yes, I've been in this boat a few times) just make sure you leave him with the thought that, even though you are really. really sad sometimes because you miss him so much, you are even MORE proud of him for sacrificing everything to serve the Lord. Build him up and tell him how happy it makes you to see him grow spiritually. Tell him you just have to remind yourself the time will go quickly (good for him to hear that, too) and that you can do anything for the Lord--just like he can. Do not just sit and blubber on the phone, telling him you can't believe you ever let him go, that you want him to be home because he is missing out on so much (Gahhh...do you want him to come home?) Let him know you are sad sometimes but that these tears are HAPPY tears because it is so great to hear his voice and hear how well he is doing! The last thing you want to do is make him feel bad. So whatever you say to him on the phone, ask yourself how you are making him feel. Then you will know if you need to make a quick adjustment and say something that will uplift the conversation. The last thing you want him to do is go in his room after he talks to you, lay down on his bed, and cry”

Oh wow. This makes me picture the many thousands of missionary moms (dads/grandparents/aunts/siblings) who may have inadvertently made their missionary feel sad because they were crying. It’s not bad to cry (I’m sure MANY people do), but like Nancy says, try to turn it into a positive and not end on a note that might lead them to wonder if they ought to come home to end your misery! :)

#3- Get the siblings on the phone if you can

You will probably be limited in how long you will be able to talk. Your missionary may have a pre-set limit on talk time from their mission president (could be 20 minutes, could be 1 hour). Even if they don’t have a specific time limit given to them, please consider that their companion (or other missionaries in their apartment) may also be waiting to use the phone. Or, if they are at member’s home using their computer for Skype, they may need to limit their time there. You will also want to consider any cost that might be involved if it is a long-distance phone call and that could impact the length of your call.

You might be picturing a leisurely all-day phone call with time for every relative, friend, and neighbor to talk at length…Unfortunately, you probably won’t have as much time as you want to talk to your missionary (especially if you have a large family and everyone wants a turn to talk). Again, many missions have a rule about time limits for these phone calls (but even if there is no official limit, there may be other types of limitations such as needing to take turns with other sets of missionaries). How can you possibly allow everyone to talk to your missionary and still have enough time? Try using speakerphone so that everyone can hear your missionary for at least part of the call. It might seem kind of impersonal, but in reality they will probably be answering the same questions and telling the same stories over and over if they talk to everyone separately, so this might make things more concise while giving everyone a chance to listen.

Even so, parents and perhaps other close relatives will want a minute to themselves, if possible, and that is arguably the most important thing. Don’t forget about the siblings, especially the younger children!

Nancy suggests, “Try to allow enough time so your other children can talk privately for a minute or two, especially those who are nearing mission age. I promise, two minutes on the phone with a missionary sibling will do more to influence them for good that just about anything you or I can say. If you think of it, tell your missionary child in your email the week before the call that you are going to try to arrange for them to have a minute or two alone on the phone to encourage and help your other children (you just may want to give him a heads up so he knows your purpose in those two minutes is for him to encourage them--not discourage them!)”

#4- Know the plan

Sometime during the week(s) leading up to the next phone call (the standard days are Mothers Day in May and Christmas Day), you will want to arrange with your missionary (in your regular emails) exactly how/when you are both going to communicate on the big day. For example, are they calling you (make sure they have the phone number) or will you be calling a member’s home where they will be that day (and if so, what is the phone number? Do you need to find out how to make an international call?) What time will they/you be calling (or Skyping)? How long will you have to talk?, etc.

It’s best to have a planned range of time that the call will start, instead of a specific start time. Your missionary may intend to call you precisely at 8:00am, but his companion may have just found out at the end of his “turn” that his family dog died or maybe his grandma showed up to talk to him at 7:59am (and he just can’t be rude to her, of course), making his call longer than planned…(Meanwhile, your whole family is panicking because it’s 8:30am and your missionary hasn’t called!). Or there could be other issues, like travel delays in getting to a computer location or there could be phone or internet outages… So maybe planning your call for sometime between 8:00am and 10:00am (thats just an example, really use whatever time frame works for your missionary) and that would be better than a strict specific time. And don’t forget to take any time-zone differences into consideration…(you might get your call at 4am!). Just make sure that everyone knows the plan.

#5- Do some technical set-up (if needed)

Nancy suggests that if your missionary is able to Skype (or some sort of similar video chat), be sure to set up your device/computer WELL ahead of time with the correct program and get everything ready so that you don’t cut into your time dealing with software downloads and other technical issues. “Make sure you are set up for Skype ahead of time so you don't waste valuable talking time trying to get it figured out. Another option is Google Hangout which is a lot of fun too! Both of these options have the capability of allowing you to talk to more than one person at a time--even those in another city or state or country. Make sure to get everything set up and test it out before the big day” Definitely practice Skype (or whatever you are using) at least once before the day you will be talking to your missionary.

#6- Have a list of talking points

You don’t want a lull in the conversation when you run out of things to talk about and questions to ask…the time is too precious! Make a list of topics that you can bring up (especially questions) during your call that you can refer to if needed. Here are some suggestions: What is your current area like? What do you like to do on p-day? What kinds of things do you normally eat? What is the strangest thing you have eaten so far? What is the funniest thing that has happened lately? What is your mission president like? Who are some of your favorite people you've met so far?

Feel free to print this list out and post it on the fridge or somewhere else that everyone can see it during the call!

Finally, I want to share another quote from Nancy’s blog that has been really helpful for me-

“Whatever you do, make sure these few moments spent on the phone create a positive memory for your missionary child. Say things that will build him and empower him, things that will make him go to bed that night more determined than ever that the rest of his mission will be even better than what came before. You have the power to do that--the power to help him forget about home and focus his attention on serving the Lord, the power to make him believe he really can do this--that there's nothing at home that is nearly as important as him serving the Lord with all his heart” (from “Those All Important Phone Calls Home” from “The Mission of Missionary Moms” blog by Nancy Murphy)Please check out Nancy’s blog - she has a lot of great posts that are wonderful for LDS missionary parents! Click here to go to the blog with her full post on this topic

8 SNACK FOODS for hungry LDS Missionaries - low cost and healthy(ish)

Hello! This new post was originally posted on my OTHER missionary blog, "Mission Prep with the Overzealous Missionary Mom," but I'm also going to post the information here because many of you have missionaries currently serving in field who could use some ideas for low-cost, easy, and healthy(ish) snacks! Feel free to pass these ideas along to your missionary - there is a printable version at the end of this post that can also be saved as a jpg and attached to your next email to your missionary! 

It can be hard for anyone to eat healthy and stay within a grocery budget. For full-time missionaries, this can be especially challenging. As a missionary, I was often hungry. And when you're hungry, you tend to gravitate toward junk food and it can be difficult to think of healthier options. Don't worry - we've got your back!

We've compiled a list of 8 easy snacks that are low-cost, require little or no work, and are healthier than eating a tub of ice cream! If you're getting ready to leave for your own LDS mission, you might want to have a list of healthy snacks like this with you to reference when you go shopping in your first area. Depending on where you serve, you may not have access to all of these items and ingredients, but this list is a good place to start!

If you are a relative or friend of an LDS missionary who is currently serving, feel free to pass along this list to your missionary! (see printable version of this list at the end of the post)

First up, CHIPS & SALSA! Buy pre-made salsa (either the canned kind in the mexican food aisle or the fresher kind usually in the produce section of groceries stores) and a bag of tortilla chips.
Cost (in my local store): about $5 ($3 for salsa, $2 for chips)
Effort level: 0 out of 10

JELLO! It might seem "basic," but its actually a nice fruity treat (many people consider it a dessert). It's sweet, but non-fat. You can buy the boxes of jello mix and make it yourself, but it does take some time (you have to wait hours for it to "set") and in this case making your own doesn't really save you that much money (plus then you have more dishes to wash). If you buy the pre-made jello cups, there is no wait and no mess! You can find these in the grocery store near the snack foods OR sometimes they are near the canned fruit OR they also have certain varieties in the refrigerated section near the yogurt. In my local Wal-Mart the pre-made jello is on a different aisle than the box jello. (Just keep looking! Eventually, you will find it!)
Cost (in my local store): about $1 (for a 4-pack). Cost per serving: 25 cents.
Effort level: 0 out of 10

FROZEN GRAPES: These are a great treat in warm weather. To make these, you buy regular fresh grapes, then wash them and pull them off of the stem. Dry them off with a paper towel and put them on a cookie sheet (or something similar) in the freezer. Once they are frozen, put them in a zip-lock type baggie and keep in the freezer. You could put them straight in the baggie without freezing them on a cookie sheet first, but they might stick together. In our part of the United States, we can get grapes year-round, but they do not taste great year-round. Usually the smaller the grape, the more sour. When they are very plump they usually taste very sweet, in my experience. You can ask someone working in the produce department if you can try one, if you're not sure (you're not supposed to sample without asking). Another tip: My daughter recently bought grapes and saw that the price on the sign was $3/lb, but didn't realize that they were bagged in 3 to 4 pound sizes. She assumed that they were all 1 pound bags, so she didn't think of weighing her grapes. She thought she was buying 1 pound of grapes for $3, but she was actually buying 3 pounds of grapes for $9. It is a little confusing sometimes, because many types of produce that are pre-bagged (like bags of potatoes or bags of apples) are usually a flat price instead of by the pound. If you are on a tight budget (as missionaries are), make sure you know what you are buying before you get to the check out.
Cost (in my local store): varies by season, from $2 per pound to $5 per pound
Effort level: 2 out of 10

HUMMUS & VEGETABLES:
Even if you are not a big vegetable person now, you might start craving them on your mission. I found that I started craving vegetables that I didn't even like (like broccoli) and I think that it was because I needed the extra nutrients. Most of the time fresh vegetables can be purchased at a fairly low price year-round. Items like carrots and celery are usually very cheap. Peppers, broccoli, cauliflower,  and tomatoes are usually slightly higher in cost, but still pretty reasonable price compared to fast food and packaged snacks.

Using hummus as a dip is a good way to add some protein to your snack (and keep you feeling full longer). If you're not familiar with hummus, it's basically a dip made from garbanzo beans and a few other things. It's very mild and smooth - try it, you'll probably like it! We like the flavored varieties (like garlic flavor or roasted red pepper flavor) better than plain. You can buy pre-made hummus in most grocery stores (sometimes it is kept by the produce, sometimes it is kept by the deli, sometimes it is kept by the sour cream/dips - in any case, it should be in a refrigerated section, so probably along the outside perimeter of the store if its a big grocery store (usually they have their refrigerated stuff around the edges and the canned goods and non-perishables near the center of the store).
Cost (in my local store): Hummus - $3-$5 depending on brand, veggie prices vary
Effort level: 1 out of 10 (because you may have to cut up vegetables)

MICROWAVE POPCORN: If you've got a microwave, this is a tasty & easy snack for around $1. There are healthier varieties with less butter and/or less salt, but even if you get the butter-blasted kind sometimes, its still a pretty good snack because it has a lot of fiber and is very filling.
Cost (in my local store): $3 for a box of 4
Effort level: 0 out of 10

BANANAS WITH HONEY: This is so good. Chop up a banana and pour a little bit of honey on top, then sprinkle some cinnamon over the whole thing. I really love this because it's very little effort but tastes way better than it looks - its like eating a fancy dessert! Honey is not exactly cheap and you may have to buy ground cinnamon if you don't already have some in your apartment, but you could plan to have this once a week and get good use out of your cinnamon & honey! 

Cost (in my local store): $5 for a small bottle of honey, $1 for a bottle of ground cinnamon, 50 cents each for a banana. Overall, probably about 75 cents per serving total, since you use so little of the honey and cinnamon each time, but you do have to buy the honey & cinnamon up front.

Effort level: 1 out of 10

RICE CAKE WITH PEANUT BUTTER: Buy a package of rice cakes (usually by the chips or the nuts and snack foods) and a jar of peanut butter. Easy!

Cost (in my local store): $2 for rice cakes (package of 10) and $3 for a small jar of peanut butter. Probably about 50 cents per serving.

Effort level: 0 out of 10

FROZEN COOKIE DOUGH: No, you don't actually need to eat the frozen cookie dough - this idea is even better! This one requires a little more work than the others, but totally manageable. Buy a cookie mix (baking section of the grocery store) like a chocolate chip cookie mix or whatever. You may also need eggs, butter, OR vegetable oil (not all three), so check the instructions before you leave the store. Make the cookie dough, but instead of baking all of the cookies, roll some (or all) of them into balls and put them in the freezer on a cookie sheet (or something similar) until frozen. Then put them in a ziplock-type baggie and put them back in the freezer. Again, the cookie sheet thing is to keep them from freezing together into one giant mass). The idea here is that you can take a couple of the cookies out at lunch time or when you get home at night a make a couple of cookies at a time. Instead of making a whole batch at once and eating them all right away, this method allows you to space your cookies out. Cookie mixes are much easier than trying to make cookies from scratch (since you don't need to buy all of the individual ingredients) and they are a pretty cheap treat. They usually make 2-3 dozen cookies, depending on the size that you make them.

Cost (in my local store): $2 for a mix (not inclduing cost of egg(s), oil, or butter that may be needed). Even after you add in the cost of the egg, etc. I think you'd probably be looking at a cost of about 10 cents a cookie.

Effort level: 4 out of 10

Here is a free printable that you can use to take on your mission as a reference if you ever need snack ideas (you can either print it on your home printer, or have it printed as a 4x6" photo at a photo place). If you are a parent or friend of a current LDS missionary who needs some cheap and easy snack ideas, feel free to save and attach this as a photo in your next email! 

Missionary themed activities & service projects for LDS YOUTH

Today we are featuring a post from our companion blog ("Mission Prep with the Overzealous Missionary Mom") because many of you are parents of youth, youth leaders, or are youth yourselves!

If you are currently a young woman or young man in the youth programs of the Church, or a parent or leader of youth, you may be looking for ideas for ways to incorporate missionary work into Mutual activities.

Even though not all youth may not be planning to serve a full-time mission, many aspects of preparing for a mission (such as learning to speak in public, learning to cook & clean, etc) are skills that apply to any adult's life. Learning more about missionary life is helpful to any church member (whether they serve a full-time mission or not) because it gives them a better idea of what missionaries do and can help them be better member-missionaries.

For ideas on how to do this, check out my other blog "The Jolly Rogers Young Women Blog" that features mutual activity ideas that help youth start thinking about missionary work, preparing for missionary service, and doing service for current missionaries. Click on the photos below to link to my activity blog:

Missionary-themed youth activities for mutual (mission prep, learning about missions, etc)-

How-to write letters and tips for sending care packages to full-time missionaries-

All of these ideas can be used for YW activities or adapted for Combined YM/YW activities. It's never too early to start thinking about mission preparations!

If you're interested in more ideas for preparing to serve a full-time LDS mission, see my companion blog "Mission Prep with the Overzealous Missionary Mom" (click HERE or see the link at the  yellow picture under my photo on the right side of this blog)

Should you RECONSIDER how often you WRITE to your LDS MISSIONARY? - a guide for relatives, friends, and girlfriends/boyfriends

Missionaries love to get letters from home! No big shocker there! So that means the more mail, the better...right? (well, maybe!)

I would have loved to get more mail than I did when I was a missionary and many missionaries feel the same way... Often, the amount of emails/letters coming to a missionary is pretty great in the beginning of their mission but starts to steadily taper off as the months go by.  Please write to the missionaries that you know - they love to hear from you and to get that boost of love and support from home.

However, it IS possible to over-do it, so we need to be careful about how often we write (and even what we say). In some cases, mail from home (physical letters or email) can actually be a problem for the missionary.

After reading this blog post, you might reconsider how often you send your missionary letters or emails. You may want to write your missionary more often, or you might even want to write your missionary less often...

Let me start by explaining a little bit about what mission life is like for a faithful and obedient missionary. Even if you know a lot about missionary work (have known many missionaries who have served or even served a mission yourself), please don't skip over this part... it's important!

An obedient missionary sacrifices aspects of his/her personal life to focus on the work. They will wait to see that new comic book movie that they've been really excited about, because going to the movies is against the mission rules. They may totally miss their best friends wedding because they are serving as a missionary. They may put their education or career on hold because they are a missionary. Most missionaries have worked and saved to pay for at least part of their own mission expenses. All of these things represent a personal sacrifice that they are making in order to serve the Lord. 

If you know anything much about missionaries, you know that personal sacrifice is part of the deal. A BIG part. This is how a missionary fully consecrates themselves - essentially, when they are set apart as a missionary, they are committing themselves fully to serving the Lord for the entire time they are serving. Naturally, they are still their own person with their own individuality, likes, and dislikes. Different missionaries may have very different approaches or styles. But one thing that obedient missionaries have in common is that they devote all of their time and their efforts to missionary service for 18 months or 2 years. 24/7. This is the only time in their whole life as a single adult that they aren't dating, going to school, working at a job, attending their own family events, competing in organized sports, and/or pursuing hobbies. All of those (perfectly normal) things are simply put aside during your mission so that they can out all of their focus and energy into missionary work.

The Missionary Handbook says, "Strive to fulfill what the President of the Church expects of you, as expressed in your call letter: 'You have been recommended as one worthy to represent the Lord as a minister of the restored gospel. You will be an official representative of the Church. As such, you will be expected to maintain the highest standards of conduct and appearance by keeping the commandments, living mission rules, and following the counsel of your mission president. You will also be expected to devote all your time and attention to serving the Lord, leaving behind all other personal affairs. As you do these things, the Lord will bless you and you will become an effective advocate and messenger of the truth.'

When you accepted your call, you promised to live by these standards. You are accountable to the Lord and to the leaders of the Church for how well you honor this promise. Always keep in mind the importance of your calling. Strive constantly to magnify it.

As you obey with a willing heart (see D&C 64:34), you will show the Lord your love for Him, earn the trust and confidence of members and nonmembers, and qualify for the companionship of the Holy Ghost (see John 14:15–17, 21; 1 Nephi 10:17; D&C 121:45–46)"

Obedience and sacrifice brings blessings.

As I talk about in my blog post, "Why isn't my missionary writing me longer letters? The AWFUL TRUTH about P-DAY - A guide for relatives, friends, and girlfriends/boyfriends of LDS missionaries,", there are rules that missionaries are asked to follow about corresponding with loved ones and friends back home. Just as the completion of other temporal things (like getting haircuts or cleaning the apartment) are reserved for "p-day" so that the missionaries can fully focus on missionary work the rest of the week, letter writing and emails are done on p-day. Missionaries can check their email and send emails (and/or write and send home letters) once a week during their p-day.

However, unless they are in a very remote area, missionaries do usually get some sort of regular physical mail delivery every day (if anyone has sent them a physical letter in an envelope through the postal service) and they are able to open any physical mail that they receive throughout the week. 

So that means that a missionary who receives only emails from friends/family will only get "mail" once a week, but a missionary who is also receiving physical letters in the regular mail could get (and open) mail several times during the week in addition to reading emails on p-day. This is why many missionaries request to get physical letters in the mail, even though it is much easier and cheaper for family/friends back home to just send an email. Plus, another benefit of getting a physical letter is that you can re-read it later, which you can't do with an email (unless you are able to print it out). 

The potential problem with being able to get physical letters in the mail every day, is that the missionary could be distracted by too-frequent letters. Here are the rules that accompany a missionary's correspondence (which is mostly emailing/letter writing, except for the 2x a year phone call home): 

THE RULES: According to the Missionary Handbook of Instructions ("Communicating with Family" section), this is what is appropriate for missionaries when it comes to emails/letters (I have added bold lettering to emphasize some phrases):

"Write to your family each week on preparation day. Limit correspondence with others..."

"Use e-mail only on preparation day. You may use computers in public places, such as libraries or appropriate businesses that offer Internet access. While using computers, always stay next to your companion so that you can see each other’s monitors. Do not use members’ computers. If you misuse e-mail or computers, you may lose the privilege of using e-mail"

"As your call letter states, you are 'expected to devote all your time and attention to serving the Lord, leaving behind all other personal affairs'." 

"Do not become preoccupied with communicating with family and friends"

This is a quote from my "Why Isn't my Missionary Writing Me Longer Letters?" post: 


"Notice that the Missionary Handbook says, "limit correspondence with others." There is a specific instruction that a missionary should write to their family weekly, but there is no specific instruction re: how often emails/letters should be written to friends/girlfriends/boyfriends. That's probably because #1- not everyone has the same situation, and #2- a missionary needs to use their brains and good judgement, and #3- again, they just don't have a lot of time to write. So if they only have time to send 1-2 short emails this week, friends (or even a girlfriend/boyfriend) might not make the cut. That won't be meant as an insult. They will sometimes need to make that tough choices like that.

Then how often should missionaries write (individual emails/letters) to friends or girlfriends/boyfriends? Once a week? Maybe, but thats how often they are instructed to write their family, and they are instructed to limit correspondence with others (non-family), so that implies that they would write to non-family less often than once a week. Maybe 2x a month? Once a month? Thats up to the individual missionary to decide. Just be aware that just because they CAN potentially send emails/letters on p-day, does not mean that they will/can write to friends/girlfriends/boyfriends every week, or even every month"

In our family we have a Primary-age child with some separation anxiety issues and in my blog post "Tips for Making Having a Missionary in the Field Easier for the Family Back Home", I talk about how we are helping all of the siblings prepare emotionally for their oldest sister's mission by discussing ahead of time what it will be like and how we can appropriately communicate with her during her mission. My daughter with the separation anxiety said, "I'm going to email Kendall 20 times a day and send her 10 letters in the mail every day." Her love and care for her sister and her desire to keep in touch with her is admirable, but I explained to her that (though her plans were innocent and well-intentioned) that we will need to come up with a modified plan that is more appropriate (perhaps in her situation, one weekly email, a physical letter every other week, and sending her occasional care packages).

I doubt that my future-missionary daughter would be distracted by colored pictures and stickers from her sister, even if she did get 10 envelopes a day (except that her companion might be jealous of the excessive amounts of mail!). But if she was experiencing problems with homesickness, a constant barrage of copious amounts of mail from home every day (plus the 140 weekly emails her sister was planning) could potentially hurt more than it helps. :)

There are many situations in which too much correspondence (or the wrong type of correspondence) could definately be problematic, no matter how well-intentioned... 

If a missionary is getting a lot of emails, but only reads them once a week on their p-day, the main problem there is going to be that they might not have enough time to read them all. Here is a math problem for you - If a hypothetical missionary gets 40 emails a week and only has 30 minutes of computer time to both read all of those emails and write emails back, how much time would they have to read each email? Well, to read that many emails, they could only spend 45 seconds reading each email, but thats still not taking into account the time needed to respond to the emails and write their main email to their family (which is the most important thing in most cases). If I were that missionary who got 40 emails and didn't have enough time to read them, I would likely just quickly skim them (or even skip some of them if they are all from the same person) because of lack of time. 

So it's a good idea to keep even emails to a reasonable minimum if you want your missionary to have the time to actually read them. And quality is better than quantity, meaning that a good well-thought short email is better than a rambling long email without substance. Parents are encouraged to write weekly (once a week), so it would make sense to me that friends and other relatives should write somewhat less often, or at least no more than the parents are asked to.

But like I mentioned before, a missionary can get/open/read physical mail (letters/packages) that they receive any day of the week, which can be a positive thing or a negative thing.

Here are some specific areas where too many physical (in the postal mail) letters from friends/family at home might be a problem:

HOMESICK

If a missionary is homesick (which pretty much every missionary experiences in some degree, but sometimes becomes a serious issue), you might think that more mail would be better. Maybe if your missionary is really down, getting an extra letter here and there could help boost them up (especially if the letter is really encouraging). Of course a missionary is always thrilled to hear from their friends/family, but if it is a constant stream of excessive mail ALL the time, that might make it harder for a missionary to focus on anything else. 

Imagine that your doctor has put you on a special strict diet for the next 6 days, but you can go back to eating whatever you want to on the 7th day. Every day you check the mail and every single day the whole mailbox is filled with colorful, delicious-looking coupon ads from fast-food places like Burger King and Pizza Hut. Would that make it harder for you to keep to your diet? How much easier would it be to only get an occasional ad, or even all of the ads at once on the 7th day? Of course, that's a silly analogy. Letters from home are good. Just don't over-do. You can use the guidelines discussed above as a guide, but also use the Spirit. We don't want to be make things more difficult, we want to help...the Spirit can help us understand when we are over-doing it (or under-doing it).

DISTRACTED BY ROMANCE BACK HOME

I know of a couple of situations where missionaries have had serious problems because a girlfriend back home was writing excessively (1 or more extremely long hand-written letters arriving in the mail every single day) or a friend or acquaintance from back home was hinting at romantic interest in their letters. I'm sure that these letters were meant well and were sent out of genuine desire to stay close to the missionary. But they were also sent (whether they realized it or not) out of...well...selfishness - without regard to how these letters (which were romantic in nature) were affecting the missionary. If you have a missionary that you love (romantically) and you want them to faithfully serve, you can help that happen OR you can make it more difficult for them. 

If I were a single person who had a boyfriend on a mission, I would not want him to look back on his mission as being difficult because he missed me so much. I would want him to look back on his mission as a faithful and obedient missionary who put aside his personal life for a time to put his whole energy into serving the people and serving the Lord. If you are writing more than is recommended or if your letters are romantic in nature, you may want to reconsider...Who are you helping? Who are you hurting? 

Is it ok for girlfriends/boyfriends to write to their missionary? Of course! Keep it missionary appropriate, supportive, and spiritual (if possible).

Here are some tips for what to write (and things to avoid) that anyone can use if they are writing to missionary (from my Jolly Rogers Young Women Blog here)

See the whole blog post here 

I created this free printable guide for my YW blog, you can read the whole post here 

Your letters are wanted and needed, but as family and friends back home, let's do our best to help our missionaries have a great mission!

Best of luck to you!